Have you ever found yourself struggling to justify why you keep certain things? Isn’t it time to get rid of those jeans or those shoes you’ve had for the last 9 years? Aren’t you tired of seeing yourself in the same light or fashion? Where there’s an absence on change, there’s also a lack of growth. As we all transition from our teens to our twenties, and from our twenties to our thirty’s and so on and so forth, there comes a time when we have to be honest with ourselves and recognize what’s helping us grow and what’s hindering our progression. While it’s certainly easy to pitch a pair of pants or donate shoes to the goodwill, the same can’t be said about the people we’ve become attached to over the years. It’s difficult and even uncomfortable to admit that you’re outgrowing your friends. As Drake said, sometimes your circle will become so small that it’s a period. And that’s ok.
The real question is how do you do it without being rude and maintain some sort of friendship at the same time? It all starts with clearly identifying your purpose and being committed to relentlessly pursuing it.
Your career is what you’ll be paid to do, your purpose is what you were born to do.
When you discover your purpose and begin pursuing it, you’ll attract everyone and everything you need to make it happen. Naturally, you’ll find yourself in different circles having different conversations. You’ll find yourself outgrowing parts of your past and deliberately and intentionally making room for your future. Those who are interested in your journey will be there to support you and never make you feel bad about moving in a new direction. Those who are not, will begin throwing shade in an attempt to win you back through guilt. Do not be swayed.
Your purpose is more important than your social position. Don’t think of it as getting rid of old friends and relationships, think of it as re-prioritizing your life. Let those you care about know what you’re into, how excited you are about it, and allow the struggles you’re soon to encounter serve as your testimony and social capital. In other words, don’t be braggadocios or condescending, be inspirational! Those looking for inspiration will find you and expand your life, those who aren’t will simply disappear.
The transition you’re making or about to make is not easy and the conversations you’ll have with yourself about letting go will be difficult. Peer pressure to “keep it 100” and maintain the status quo will be real and you may experience feelings of isolation. Just remember, it’s only temporary. So remember, once you discover and commit to pursuing your purpose, the people you’ll need and want in your life will find you.
written by: Dobbie Herrion, MOLSAMP Director, Harris-Stowe